Motherhood: How to let God be in control in the Chaos

Does this season of life and motherhood feel like you’re trying so hard, doing everything you can, but you’re still coming up short? These feelings have filled my own mind as well. Living in what feels like a lull or a time of drought from the things you hope or work for is not an easy thing to endure. I have felt anything from disappointment to emptiness as I’ve watched the plans I had for myself dwindle away from my grasp. Throughout this time, however, I have seen God working. 

 It is our human nature that we believe we are the captains of our own ships. We can decide our fate, our lives, what we take control of. What an illusion we have been sold. The truth is that we have control over very little besides our own actions. I’ve always been one to strive for perfection and do everything by the book so that nothing goes wrong. In this season, where nothing has panned out the way I’ve hoped, God has opened my eyes to something. We aren’t supposed to control it all, plan it all, do it all. He is. God has and always will be in control, even when we feel out of control. He has plans for us. Plans for good. We try entirely too hard to make everything fit our own perfect plans. Sometimes all that does is leave us exhausted to the core.

Fulfilling the Demands of Marriage and Motherhood

As wives and mothers, we are often required to wear several different hats. These tasks often demand, well, planning. Relinquishing control does not mean that we step back from what we are called to. Being a good wife to our husbands, a good mother to our young children (or older children, or adult children), and a keeper of our home is still part of our biblical calling. We are no longer trying to control every aspect of life. We must do the good work He has set before us with open hands, trusting that the outcome belongs to our Heavenly Father.

Trying to do everything Ourselves: 

Even in this season of waiting and drought, I still catch myself trying to force doors open with my own strength. I’ll plan harder, wake up earlier, hustle more… because if I just try a little harder, surely everything will fall into place, right?

Who knew that the simple act of letting go of control could be one of the hardest things a type-A, perfectionist mama would ever do?

When Doing It All Becomes Doing Too Much: Taking Control When It Isn’t Ours

Too often, I find myself trying to solve every problem around me. As mothers, we are caretakers, and this often involves hours or sometimes sleepless nights of problem solving. One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to realize is that not every problem is mine to solve. By nature, I will try to fix anything that I have the ability to. It seems to be during those unfixable, often difficult trials in life that we find out how truly powerless we are. 

As mothers and human beings, we are inclined to strive to fix everything, control everything, save everything. The hard truth, but beautiful reality, is that only God is in control. By trying to fix or control everything ourselves, all we will be left with is deep weariness of mind and the overwhelming feeling that we aren’t enough. In a societal era of “you are enough” and “girl boss your way through”, we actually need to hear the jarring truth that we are not enough. But Jesus is.

The Apostle Paul reminds us in Philippians 4 that the peace of God guards our hearts when we bring everything to Him in prayer instead of carrying it in our own hands. When we insist on controlling what only Christ Jesus can control, we end up exhausted, anxious, and honestly… prideful. Because deep down we’re saying, “God, I’ve got this better than You do.”

But the gospel flips the script: We are not enough. We never will be. That is the most freeing news in the world, because Jesus Christ—the Son of God, lived the perfect life we couldn’t, and died for us. He justified us. He is MORE than enough. His grace is sufficient. His power is made perfect in our weakness.

Focus on Tending The Most Important Things:

So if we’re not supposed to control everything, what are we supposed to do? We fix our eyes on Jesus and we faithfully tend the garden God has actually placed in front of us today.

1.  Cultivate your personal relationship with Christ Jesus. Quiet time isn’t a luxury; it’s oxygen. Even if it’s ten minutes locked in the bathroom with God’s Word while you run your baby’s bath—get in the Word of God. That deeply rooted faith you’re desperate to pass on to your children? It starts between Jesus and you.

2.  The second thing: Love your husband and your children well. Pour the unconditional love of Christ into those little hearts. That is your primary mission field. The little things—the bedtime prayers, the way you respond when you’re tired, the Scripture you speak over breakfast—those are the threads that weave the fabric of faith and family for generations. 

Every season of our lives are part of God’s beautiful plan. Whether you’re in the chaos of toddlers, in the ache of waiting, or the unfamiliar empty-nest, God’s faithfulness never wavers. It’s time to let go of control. Open your hands and lay everything at the feet of Jesus. The demands and worries of motherhood are heavy, but you don’t have to carry them alone. Jesus wants to carry you. 

We are not enough. But He is.

In the good times and hard times, in sleepless nights and ordinary afternoons, He is walking with us. Let go of control. One of the most beautiful gifts a mother can give isn’t perfectly executed plans—it is a life that shows her children, “I trust Jesus more than I trust myself.” God sees you in your motherhood. Let him carry you through.

Love,

Another mama learning to let go